Okay, I am definitely feeling wayyy more depressed than I thought I was. I didn't even realise this until I met all my classmates again. I guess they felt it even before I did.
I now know it's not gonna be an easy task trying to keep up with my "rules".
If I were to say 'NO' to every outing/activities with my friends, I'm so gonna be known as The Party Pooper (yes, with the capital and all) And I obviously wouldn't want that to happen because I do WANT to go. I do WANT to join.
But I have never felt so behind my studies, I'm regretting every moment of it. Regret is useless though. Imagine going to class everyday not knowing a single thing the lecturer had taught yet didn't even have the slightest interest to figure out what was going on.
Yes, it has come up to that point. I don't want that to happen either because I do WANT to do well in my exams. It's a hell lot of pressure now that I'm in ACCA already. It's difficult to even pass, not to mention getting higher marks.
So technically, all that's left is an emo Party Pooper who is pretty much blank in her studies anyway.
I know balance is the key, but it's really not as easy as it seems. I'm always toppling off either way because I could not seem to find my balancing point.
I am afraid I will keep falling and falling until one day I decided to just give up entirely.
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